It's Been Awhile

Ok so I realize it's been a ridiculously long time since my last post, but at least one of my excuses is a good one! Honestly, every time I tried to log in to post on my blog, it turned into a 30 minute battle to the death-me against the computer. The computer always won. It would tell me my password was incorrect, my user name was incorrect, or, and this was my favorite, it would let me in, but then tell me I was not the author of any blogs. Eventually it would irritate me to the point of giving up. After a while, I was just over the trouble. So I quit. But, thanks to my wonderful husband, it seems all of the kinks are worked out and I am going to try again.

Since it's been such a very long time, I am simply going to post a couple of pictures from each month that I feel best sums up what was going on that month for us.

Get ready, here comes a million pictures!

All Grown Up and I Don't Know What To Do

Yesterday we took the Little Princess to see Toy Story 3 (GREAT movie), and while we were walking in we ran into some friends going to see it too. These friends were there with a giant group of their friends so there ended up being about 30 of us sitting together, and of course, as usually is the case, Bella was the youngest one there. This is where tragedy struck. I knew this day was coming. I tried to prepare myself. I failed.

As we are all picking our seats Bella looks up at me and says, "I want to sit with Sara Kate mommy" (who is 9 years old by the way). Now this may not sound like a big deal to you but let me explain. Bella is my movie buddy. Every time we go to the movies we sit together. Not just together, but she sits in my lap. We laugh together, we cry together, we snuggle. It's perfect. Not this time. She wanted to sit by Sara Kate. Sara Kate was in a whole different row! Far away from me. How was I supposed to see what parts made Bella laugh or cry when she was so far away? I hated it. But of course I said ok. I think spent as much time watching Bella as I did watching the movie. I hated not being able to share in her reactions.

After the movie, while we were talking about all of her favorite and not so favorite parts, I threw a little Mommy guilt trip at her (I ADMIT IT!) and said, "I sure did miss you sitting in my lap while we watched the movie. I love when you sit with me. I was a little sad we didn't get to snuggle." And in the sweetest, but ever so slightly exasperated voice, she tells me, "It's ok Mommy, sometimes I just want to sit with some other friends." OUCH.

Like I said, I knew the day would come when she would want to be with her friends more than me, I just don't think I expected it so soon. It's heartbreaking. It was just another subtle reminder that my little girl is turning into my big girl more and more each day. But with any luck she'll be my snuggle buddy for a long time to come.

Dream a Little Dream.

Sometimes I swear Bella lives in her own imaginary place away from the rest of us. A place full of princesses, and castles, and music, and color. A place that she is always royalty or a beautiful ballerina. Sometimes I wish I could go there with her. But what is it about being an adult that hinders you from being able to really let go and escape to that beautiful imaginary place that most of us had as children? So, now I am content to watch her play and dream and live in a world full of magical things that only she can see. I want to be the protector of that wonderful world and keep the real world away. I want to prevent anyone from stifling that wondrous creativity that she carries with her always. 

I love that almost everything she touches instantly becomes something else, something more wonderful in her eyes. I love that she has imaginary friends that go everywhere with her and keep her safe. I love that in her world, all words can be made into songs. I love that to her, anything is a stage and anytime is a good time to dance. I hope she never ever stops believing in those things and never forgets that the whole world is her stage, and I, her ever captivated audience.   

Now I Lay Me. . .

About 3 or 4 months ago, Bella got really in to saying her own prayers at bedtime, instead of folding her hands quietly while I led prayer. And while I loved sneaking peaks of her lying there with her hands folded and her eyes shut tight, I love listening to her say her own prayers so much more. The reason may not be what you think. Of course her simply saying "Now I lay me down to sleep" would be cute enough, but what really makes her prayers so special, so unique, and so. . .well, so BELLA, is that she sings them! Not only does she sing them, but she sings her own original prayers. She introduces each one of them as if it were a song on the radio, "And  now for ____" and then she launches in to the most wonderful prayers ever. Of course she prays for the usual: mommy, daddy, brother, etc, but the most magnificent things are the most unusual things she feels in her heart to pray about. There have been songs about trees, friends, our dog. The list is long, but my personal favorite prayer song of her's was "The Prayer to Jesus' Feet." 

No kidding. 

After a very proud introduction, she went on to sing the most hilariously sentimental prayer song to the Almighty's Feet. 

I can't remember most of it, but it went a little like this (insert completely random melody here) Now I lay me down to sleep, I pray the Lord to Jesus' feet. They are so pretty. And I love you. . . .etc., etc. A lyrical masterpiece, really. 

It was truly everything I had not to bust out laughing! How could I laugh though, when she was so very seriously pouring her heart and soul into her song to Jesus' feet?

Lately, she doesn't sing her prayers as much anymore, but she does still say her own most of the time. Sometimes they make sense. More often than not, they don't. They are just completely random ramblings of whatever thoughts pop into her head in that very moment.  Sometimes I am tempted to reign her in, to put her on the "right" track with her prayers. But I fight the urge. Because isn't that what praying to our Father is supposed to be? Speaking from our hearts' no matter how incoherent it may seem to us? God knows our heart; he knows what we are trying to say.  The beauty is found in knowing that we can say anything, anything at all, to Him and He hears us. He listens. Whether it be about our troubles, our joys, or even about Jesus' pretty feet. God wants to hear everything we have to say. And while I don't sing my own prayers, my little girl has taught me so much about the beauty and art of prayer.

Big Wheels Keep On Turning!

As of February 3, 2009 my little Princess is a bike rider. 

I picked her up from school that day, and she and her teachers were beaming! "Guess what?" they ask me.

 "What?" 

Dramatic pause. . . . 

At this point I'm positive she has done something absolutely amazing-taught the class to read,written her name in cursive,  solved world hunger. . . 

"BELLA LEARNED TO PEDAL!"

Who needs reading?! My kid can finally pedal!!! 

I jump around the class like a maniac, hug her and kiss her, tell her over and over that I am so proud of her. You know, the usual proud mommy stuff. I have been trying to teach her since last summer with absolutely no success; she goes to preschool for one day and comes home knowing how to do it! Maybe they aren't over charging us. . .

Like most things requiring effort and energy,  the Princess has been completely uninterested in learning to pedal a bike. I don't know why I wasn't more prepared for her total lack of interest, she didn't crawl until she was 11 months old and didn't walk until she was 17 months old. No thats not a typo, it was really 17. She was perfectly happy having her fat little self toted around on my hip forever! She's simply never been a big fan of cardio, so I'm not sure why I expected her to be excited about learning to ride a bike. But that was all in the past. 

Or so we thought.

That night when daddy got home, we told him all about the monumental day. Then Mommy, Daddy, the Princess, and even Aunt Mary all loaded into the car for a trip to Wal-Mart to get a NEW BIKE!!! After some deliberation, we decided to go with the Barbie big wheel. Why not start small, then work our way up to the BMX. She did just learn.

So after getting home and helping Daddy assemble her new prize, we all set off. The plan was for us all to take a nice long stroll around the block-grown ups walking, Princess pedaling diligently alongside us. That was the plan. Since when does anything ever go according to the plan? It took us about 10 minutes to get as far as the next driveway, 40 feet away! This wasn't bike riding! I didn't understand! Her teachers had said, "She learned to RIDE a bike today" not "she learned to pedal twice then sit on a bike today." What had happened ?? 

But she wouldn't give up. So for the next 30 minutes Daddy, Aunt Mary, and I coaxed and encouraged her to keep trying while we quietly played a game of  "I bet I could do _______ before she gets back home." Example, I bet I could run a mile backwards and on one leg before she pedaled the 40 feet it would take to get back to our driveway. It was slow going to say the least.  But then, all of a sudden, it clicked!! She started pedaling (consistently) and didn't stop! The freedom of the open road, the wind blowing through her hair, she was unstoppable! We were all so proud. It was then that I realized, pedaling, just like everything else in her life, was something she had to do in her own time. She has never been one to be forced into anything, and this was to be no different. Why had I been so adamant about her learning before she was really ready? Because everyone else's child was ahead of her when it came to this? I won't make that mistake again.

 Through the simple act of her learning to ride her bike, she taught me that it is not my job as her mommy to force things upon her. It's my job as her mommy to point her in the right direction, and to be the gentle guidance she needs to learn and discover things on her own. She is her own person, smart and able, capable of anything, when and if she's ready. 

Big Girls Don't Cry

Last Thursday, my little Princess started pre-school for the first time. Again.

A little over a year ago, we tried it, but it was awful so we quit, and we don't really like to count it as her first school experience. She would wake up on school mornings with some sort of weird sixth sense, already crying and begging me not to take her! It was terrible.

This time though it has been great! When we went to visit, she walked right in like she had been there forever, she wasn't shy or scared in the least. We knew we had found "the one." Her teachers are so sweet and she has already made lots of new friends; although she can't tell me a single one of their names.

I had a friend ask me if I was sad about her starting school, and my honest answer was no. I'm really not. (And not just bc its one less kid in my house or bc I am finally getting a much needed break from the little monster, I mean Princess). I might have thought about being sad or nervous for a minute or two. After all, this is my shy, scared baby, and I just threw her into an unknown world. It had to be really scary for her.

Any sadness I might have had though,  was erased at pick up on her first day. I got out of my car to see her running blissfully around the playground with her friends, grinning from ear to ear, laughing out loud, and having the time of her life. I knew we had made the right choice. Who could be sad about that?

31 Flavors of Jesus

Kind of a random thought I know, but have you ever noticed all the different "varieties of Jesus"?

Sitting in church on Sunday, I started thinking about it. Visit one church and you will enjoy oyster cracker Jesus. Another, and you will partake in wafer Jesus.  I wonder what makes churches chose the flavor they do. Are they just walking through the cracker aisle at Kroger one day, spot some tasty looking treats, and think "That's it!! That will be our Jesus!"? Or is it a matter of price? Is one type of Jesus more of a bargain than another? I just wonder these things.

And as far as the drinks go, WINE people!! WINE!! He turned water into wine, not Welch's grape juice. 

In my opinion, you should not be able to buy Jesus's flesh and blood at the grocery store. It should have to be purchased from a special Jesus store. 

Just my thoughts on the matter.

Hark! the Harold Angels Sing, Christ is Born in. . .Bella's bedroom??

This morning I walked into Bella's room to find her standing on her bed, huge smile on her face, and a giant bulge under her princess night gown.
"Look Mommy," she says, "I'm gonna have a baby Jesus!!" Then she reaches under her night gown and "births" a little stuffed Savior right then and there. Baby Jesus was born today in my daughter's bedroom. It's a miracle!!
She was such a great mommy to Baby Jesus all day. She wrapped Him in swaddling cloth (a.k.a. her lovie) and carried Him around with her until bedtime. Throughout the day she tended to all of His needs: she fed Him "delicious Lucky Charms" for breakfast, shared her peanut butter sandwich for lunch, she took Him potty, and even kissed His booboos (that He sustained from repeated dropping on His head! ouch! Can Jesus get brain damage??).
It was really neat to watch her "interact" with Baby Jesus all day. So many of the things she said to Him, were exactly the same things I say to her. When He'd "cry" she would hold Him and gently bounce Him and whisper, "It's ok baby, Mommy's here" just like I do with her. After He'd "potty" she would clap and cheer, "YAY!! Mommy is so proud of you!" The love and care that she showed her baby was so touching; the gentle way she tended to Him let me know that maybe, just maybe I'm doing a pretty good job as a mom. Moms, if you ever want to know what kind of job you are doing, watch your daughters playing with their babies.

last ones. . .

here are a few more pics from the rehearsal. . . .

A Star is Born 12/5/08

So tonight was rehearsal night for the Princess's very first ballet performance, The Nutcracker. We arrived really early so that I could get a good spot to photograph from , but it turns out that everybody else had the same idea. 45 minutes before rehearsal even starts there are about a million people already there. Of course this puts my little prima ballerina into freak out mode, and she assumes her usual "crowd position" which consists of her face crammed into the back of my thigh, death grip on my leg. 

Well, she looked adorable (picture this:pink leotard & tights, LEG WARMERS, [ahhh! too cute!!] and a scarf , so naturally everyone wanted to see her and talk to her. This attention only sent her into SUPER freak out mode, and she attempted to test her climbing abilities up my body.  She succeeded.

So anyways, we headed into the auditorium where we patiently waited for her group to be called up. . . .

here is a run down of the 3 year olds' parts in the performance. 1. they are dressed as gingerbread girls and they basically walk across the stage. The outfits are brown and have nothing that sparkles on them. Bella could care less about this part of the show. 2. next, they are "Christmas Girls". For this part they do an entire little choreographed  number in the most adorable costumes ever. Red velvet dresses, white fur trim, sparkly headbands. Bella would live in this outfit for the rest of her life if I'd let her.  Each time they have to put the gingerbread costumes on, I have to force it onto her and threaten her with no red dress if she doesn't do the gingerbread part. Every time she even sees the brown, she instantly says, "I want the red one." Diva.

So anyways, her group is finally called backstage to prepare to go on. I kiss her, tell her I love her, and send her on her way. Then there is a mad dash amongst the mommies for the little area right in front of the stage, all of us hoping to get front and center for the best photo ops. I won. I'm am not against violence when it comes to getting the best spot for pics of my baby.(So, other mother's beware-I won't lose.) So there we all sat, cameras aimed and ready, when the curtains are pulled back, and there stood our tiny dancers.

 I recognized all of them, except one. . . .my own. The little girl that couldn't be invisible enough only an hour before had suddenly turned into an attention crazed maniac!! She was up on the stage with the biggest smile on her face and waving to the crowd like she had just been crowned Miss Ballet America!! When the music started she really went crazy, she was like a pint sized Rockette. Dancing and moving like the stage belonged to her alone; her toe perfectly pointed the entire time . She was not the least bit scared or shy. The crowd LOVED her!!! 

When her part was over I had to practically drag her off stage. Backstage, she refused to take off the red dress until she had sufficiently modeled it in the ballet mirror-this meant at least 15 minutes of looking at herself while she made various faces and struck different poses. She had some of the other moms laughing so hard; they couldn't take their eyes off of her! No one could believe that was the same little shy girl from the lobby.  I never really expected her to to be afraid onstage, she does love to perform, but I never  expected her to come alive the way she did either. I think at three, she's found her calling.

It was an amazing night; one I know I will remember for a long time, but should I start to forget, I know she will remind me- she told me repeatedly how "AWESOME" she was the entire way home! She certainly won't be forgetting any time soon! 

Strengthening Bonds One Book at a Time

I have to take a second to brag just a little bit. . . .

about 3 weeks ago Bella really started picking up on words, cat, dog, hat, etc. Small words I know, but give her a break, shes 3!!!

Lately though she has been a reading MANIAC!! She sounds out everything she sees, and she's getting really good! 

Just today she read the words plus, step, still, and a couple of others I can't think of right now. Not only is she reading, but she is attempting to spell words too. I've been really impressed at her effort-especially since I can't spell anything unless I have a piece of paper to write the word down on. 

All of this intelligence almost caused me to have an "open mouth, insert foot" moment the other day. We were waiting in the lobby of ballet class and there was an older girl (kindergardener) there practicing her reading list for school. After listening to her struggle and finally complete the list, I almost busted out with, "WOW!! My 3 year old can read every one of those words!" Thankfully, my brain kicked in and I didn't open my mouth. I wasn't trying to be mean. honestly. I just really am so proud! And excited. . . I LOVE to read. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! If its got words, I will read it. I read the back of my shampoo bottle every time I get in the shower. I read the backs of water bottles. I read toilet paper packages. and books. Seriously, I cannot get enough. The sad thing is that no one in my house shares this passion with me! I read a great book and want to share it, but there is no one to share it with because no one will read it! So the thought that my daughter may share this love excites me immensely!! When she's older, we can have our own private little book club. We'll meet for lunch on Sundays to discuss our reads. We'll talk. We'll share. We'll always have a reason to get together!! We will conquer the world one book at a time!

Mother daughter bonding at its best (and my secret plot to keep her close)!

 Am I getting ahead of myself? 

no.

So I'm getting Bella dressed and it goes like this:

"Come here baby and put on your jeans."

Her response:

"and my boots with the fur??"

are you freaking kidding me??

Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses

Last night we were graced with a performance by our very own future Hollywood starlet. Zach was practicing his chords like a good little student when Bella decided she needed to practice as well. So out she strolls, guitar in hand, and proceeds to burst into an original piece entitled "Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses." I have no idea today how the song went. I can only tell you it was very unique, very long (it went on for at least 15 minutes), and it involved a lot of Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses. Oh, AND there was original choreography! Seriously, it was awesome. She had a chorus, a refrain, and I am pretty sure there were at least a couple of verses. I'm thinking I have a prodigy  on my hands.

A Sign of the Times?

I like to think that I am a cool mom. Not the WAAAAY "cool" kind that looks at her children like "little adults" trapped in midget bodies. Not that kind. But the kind of mom that has found a nice balance between letting her kids feel big and experience the world while keeping them close and not experience too much. The kind that doesn't shelter too much of the real world but enough to keep my kids from growing up too quickly. I think I'm failing. Below is the list of why.

The other day we are riding in the car and Bella busts out with, "OH HOT DAMN, THIS IS MY JAM! KEEP ME PARTYIN' TILL THE AM! YA'LL DON'T UNDERSTAND, MAKE ME THROW MY HANDS IN THE AI-ER, AI, AI-ER!" Perhaps you've heard that song. Catchy little tune. Not so much when its your THREE YEAR OLD singing!!!

Strike one.

Then a few days later, another song that she apparently loved was on the radio, and in the middle of singing along, she stops long enough to inform Daddy and I, "I want you to put this on my ipod." HUH?!?! You have an ipod?? Did I miss something?  So I ask her, "You have an ipod?" "No, but when you buy me an ipod I want you to put this song on it, ok?"  ummm. . . .

I know she knows about ipods. Her favorite thing to do with Aunt Mary is listen to hers. But how did she know you have to put music ON the ipod, and who told her she was getting one?!

Strike two.

Then the big one. Strike three.

We are driving back for a soccer game when she informs us that so-in-so is her boyfriend, he is in love with her (IN LOVE WITH HER!), they are going to get married and kiss. WHA, WHA, WHAT!?!? I'm sorry, did you say boyfriend, married, and kiss?Whatever happened to Daddy's her prince charming and she's going to marry him?  On the plus side, at least she said get married before they kiss (because we all know how that goes). Maybe I'm doing something right.