Hark! the Harold Angels Sing, Christ is Born in. . .Bella's bedroom??

This morning I walked into Bella's room to find her standing on her bed, huge smile on her face, and a giant bulge under her princess night gown.
"Look Mommy," she says, "I'm gonna have a baby Jesus!!" Then she reaches under her night gown and "births" a little stuffed Savior right then and there. Baby Jesus was born today in my daughter's bedroom. It's a miracle!!
She was such a great mommy to Baby Jesus all day. She wrapped Him in swaddling cloth (a.k.a. her lovie) and carried Him around with her until bedtime. Throughout the day she tended to all of His needs: she fed Him "delicious Lucky Charms" for breakfast, shared her peanut butter sandwich for lunch, she took Him potty, and even kissed His booboos (that He sustained from repeated dropping on His head! ouch! Can Jesus get brain damage??).
It was really neat to watch her "interact" with Baby Jesus all day. So many of the things she said to Him, were exactly the same things I say to her. When He'd "cry" she would hold Him and gently bounce Him and whisper, "It's ok baby, Mommy's here" just like I do with her. After He'd "potty" she would clap and cheer, "YAY!! Mommy is so proud of you!" The love and care that she showed her baby was so touching; the gentle way she tended to Him let me know that maybe, just maybe I'm doing a pretty good job as a mom. Moms, if you ever want to know what kind of job you are doing, watch your daughters playing with their babies.

last ones. . .

here are a few more pics from the rehearsal. . . .

A Star is Born 12/5/08

So tonight was rehearsal night for the Princess's very first ballet performance, The Nutcracker. We arrived really early so that I could get a good spot to photograph from , but it turns out that everybody else had the same idea. 45 minutes before rehearsal even starts there are about a million people already there. Of course this puts my little prima ballerina into freak out mode, and she assumes her usual "crowd position" which consists of her face crammed into the back of my thigh, death grip on my leg. 

Well, she looked adorable (picture this:pink leotard & tights, LEG WARMERS, [ahhh! too cute!!] and a scarf , so naturally everyone wanted to see her and talk to her. This attention only sent her into SUPER freak out mode, and she attempted to test her climbing abilities up my body.  She succeeded.

So anyways, we headed into the auditorium where we patiently waited for her group to be called up. . . .

here is a run down of the 3 year olds' parts in the performance. 1. they are dressed as gingerbread girls and they basically walk across the stage. The outfits are brown and have nothing that sparkles on them. Bella could care less about this part of the show. 2. next, they are "Christmas Girls". For this part they do an entire little choreographed  number in the most adorable costumes ever. Red velvet dresses, white fur trim, sparkly headbands. Bella would live in this outfit for the rest of her life if I'd let her.  Each time they have to put the gingerbread costumes on, I have to force it onto her and threaten her with no red dress if she doesn't do the gingerbread part. Every time she even sees the brown, she instantly says, "I want the red one." Diva.

So anyways, her group is finally called backstage to prepare to go on. I kiss her, tell her I love her, and send her on her way. Then there is a mad dash amongst the mommies for the little area right in front of the stage, all of us hoping to get front and center for the best photo ops. I won. I'm am not against violence when it comes to getting the best spot for pics of my baby.(So, other mother's beware-I won't lose.) So there we all sat, cameras aimed and ready, when the curtains are pulled back, and there stood our tiny dancers.

 I recognized all of them, except one. . . .my own. The little girl that couldn't be invisible enough only an hour before had suddenly turned into an attention crazed maniac!! She was up on the stage with the biggest smile on her face and waving to the crowd like she had just been crowned Miss Ballet America!! When the music started she really went crazy, she was like a pint sized Rockette. Dancing and moving like the stage belonged to her alone; her toe perfectly pointed the entire time . She was not the least bit scared or shy. The crowd LOVED her!!! 

When her part was over I had to practically drag her off stage. Backstage, she refused to take off the red dress until she had sufficiently modeled it in the ballet mirror-this meant at least 15 minutes of looking at herself while she made various faces and struck different poses. She had some of the other moms laughing so hard; they couldn't take their eyes off of her! No one could believe that was the same little shy girl from the lobby.  I never really expected her to to be afraid onstage, she does love to perform, but I never  expected her to come alive the way she did either. I think at three, she's found her calling.

It was an amazing night; one I know I will remember for a long time, but should I start to forget, I know she will remind me- she told me repeatedly how "AWESOME" she was the entire way home! She certainly won't be forgetting any time soon! 

Strengthening Bonds One Book at a Time

I have to take a second to brag just a little bit. . . .

about 3 weeks ago Bella really started picking up on words, cat, dog, hat, etc. Small words I know, but give her a break, shes 3!!!

Lately though she has been a reading MANIAC!! She sounds out everything she sees, and she's getting really good! 

Just today she read the words plus, step, still, and a couple of others I can't think of right now. Not only is she reading, but she is attempting to spell words too. I've been really impressed at her effort-especially since I can't spell anything unless I have a piece of paper to write the word down on. 

All of this intelligence almost caused me to have an "open mouth, insert foot" moment the other day. We were waiting in the lobby of ballet class and there was an older girl (kindergardener) there practicing her reading list for school. After listening to her struggle and finally complete the list, I almost busted out with, "WOW!! My 3 year old can read every one of those words!" Thankfully, my brain kicked in and I didn't open my mouth. I wasn't trying to be mean. honestly. I just really am so proud! And excited. . . I LOVE to read. LOVE LOVE LOVE it! If its got words, I will read it. I read the back of my shampoo bottle every time I get in the shower. I read the backs of water bottles. I read toilet paper packages. and books. Seriously, I cannot get enough. The sad thing is that no one in my house shares this passion with me! I read a great book and want to share it, but there is no one to share it with because no one will read it! So the thought that my daughter may share this love excites me immensely!! When she's older, we can have our own private little book club. We'll meet for lunch on Sundays to discuss our reads. We'll talk. We'll share. We'll always have a reason to get together!! We will conquer the world one book at a time!

Mother daughter bonding at its best (and my secret plot to keep her close)!

 Am I getting ahead of myself? 

no.

So I'm getting Bella dressed and it goes like this:

"Come here baby and put on your jeans."

Her response:

"and my boots with the fur??"

are you freaking kidding me??

Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses

Last night we were graced with a performance by our very own future Hollywood starlet. Zach was practicing his chords like a good little student when Bella decided she needed to practice as well. So out she strolls, guitar in hand, and proceeds to burst into an original piece entitled "Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses." I have no idea today how the song went. I can only tell you it was very unique, very long (it went on for at least 15 minutes), and it involved a lot of Macaroni & Cheese and Princesses. Oh, AND there was original choreography! Seriously, it was awesome. She had a chorus, a refrain, and I am pretty sure there were at least a couple of verses. I'm thinking I have a prodigy  on my hands.

A Sign of the Times?

I like to think that I am a cool mom. Not the WAAAAY "cool" kind that looks at her children like "little adults" trapped in midget bodies. Not that kind. But the kind of mom that has found a nice balance between letting her kids feel big and experience the world while keeping them close and not experience too much. The kind that doesn't shelter too much of the real world but enough to keep my kids from growing up too quickly. I think I'm failing. Below is the list of why.

The other day we are riding in the car and Bella busts out with, "OH HOT DAMN, THIS IS MY JAM! KEEP ME PARTYIN' TILL THE AM! YA'LL DON'T UNDERSTAND, MAKE ME THROW MY HANDS IN THE AI-ER, AI, AI-ER!" Perhaps you've heard that song. Catchy little tune. Not so much when its your THREE YEAR OLD singing!!!

Strike one.

Then a few days later, another song that she apparently loved was on the radio, and in the middle of singing along, she stops long enough to inform Daddy and I, "I want you to put this on my ipod." HUH?!?! You have an ipod?? Did I miss something?  So I ask her, "You have an ipod?" "No, but when you buy me an ipod I want you to put this song on it, ok?"  ummm. . . .

I know she knows about ipods. Her favorite thing to do with Aunt Mary is listen to hers. But how did she know you have to put music ON the ipod, and who told her she was getting one?!

Strike two.

Then the big one. Strike three.

We are driving back for a soccer game when she informs us that so-in-so is her boyfriend, he is in love with her (IN LOVE WITH HER!), they are going to get married and kiss. WHA, WHA, WHAT!?!? I'm sorry, did you say boyfriend, married, and kiss?Whatever happened to Daddy's her prince charming and she's going to marry him?  On the plus side, at least she said get married before they kiss (because we all know how that goes). Maybe I'm doing something right.

Since Last Time. . . . .

Lots has happened since my last blog, but mostly just every day life. Things have been so hectic that I haven't been able to sit down long enough to peck out a new entry. We've taken a  trip to the beach with Granny Karen, and spent an entire wonderful week laying next to water of one kind or another. We've partied at Pickwick with PapaGigi and the rest of the giant gang that comes. Bella was impossible to keep off the tube and out of the river. We've spent some time at Nana's cabin playing and visiting and trying to catch wild kittens. We took a trip to Ms. Melissa's and had so much fun visiting with her and the boys and SWIMMING!!!! 

We've joined ballet class where she is preparing for a role in "The Nutcracker." We have spent tons of time at the soccer fields with Brother, also known as social hour for Bella-she has made tons of friends and looks forward to seeing them to play tag and Barbies. 

One of the biggest things we've done is started preschool.  Of course its at home, but its preschool none the less. We do table work every morning, followed by outside playtime, then circle time. So far Bella has learned to spell and write her first and last name, her continents, the 4 oceans of the world, many of the states and their capitals (working on more every day), her days and months, and she is reading many small words  and 1 short book!!! We are so proud of what she has learned and can't wait to see whats to come. Hopefully, I will be able to keep up with the blog better than I have, so check back soon! I'll get pics up asap!

Little Fish in a Big Pond

I took Bella-roo to a pool yesterday for the first time since last year. I came with a bag full of toys (barbies and princesses and such) because I fully expected her to avoid the water like the plague like she did last summer.

 Boy was I wrong! She loved it! In fact, when a friend's son jumped wildly off the steps into the deeper water, guess who was right behind him? Yep, she jumped right in! I had to grab her by the pony tail to keep her from sinking to the bottom!! It scared her for half a second before she was jumping off the steps again, but this time it was safely into my arms. She loved the water so much that I ended up having to leave the pool in order to buy a pair of floaties. Even still, I wasn't sure how she was going to do with arm floats. Honestly I didn't think she'd do it at all. Floating freely is very different from hanging on to mommy like a baby monkey! She proved me wrong again!! Although she was less than thrilled about the bulkiness of the floaties, she LOVED actually floating around in the water! She wasn't scared at all! This may seem like no big deal to many parents out there, but anyone who knows my super cautious daughter, knows that this was a major feat for her. I was so proud! And thanks Aunt M. for playing with her so much in the pool! We love you!

Little Miss Manners

So, the other night we are all sitting in a fairly crowded restaurant when Little Miss Manners proudly (and loudly) announces, "I POOTED!" Yeah. She did.

I immediately lean over and inform her that that is not something we yell out in restaurants; its bad manners. So what does she do?

She leans waaaayy over the table, in order to get as close as possible to everyone,  and in her most polite voice whispers, "Excuse me everyone. . . .I pooted."

How's that for manners mom?

As God is my witness, I'll never be hungry again!

 Maybe I've mentioned it before, maybe I haven't, but my daughter is a "drama Princess"! She says some of the most hilarious things!

For example, when she is sad, she doesn't just cry. Oh no! She looks at you, tears streaming down her fat little face and says, "That makes my heart SO SAD!" But the words "so sad" aren't just emphasized; they are said with such a Scarlett O'hara type exasperation that you end up feeling ten times worse than you should, even if you never should have felt bad in the first place! The funniest part about it though, is WHEN she says it. Yes, often times, it is at a time when she feels legitimately sad-she has just been put in time out, something sad is on the television (she is very aware of people's feelings), or even if a song has sad undertones (she is oddly in tune to the moods that different music is meant to evoke). But  MOST of the time, she uses her dramatic skills at times that only seem necessary in a 3 year old's mind. "That makes my heart SO SAD" that I can't eat chocolate and suckers for breakfast! "That makes me SO SAD" that I can't buy every Barbie in the Barbie isle at Wal*Mart! (or even just 1 BRATZ doll! *see earlier post to learn my feelings on these little plastic hookers.) Sometimes, it is almost impossible to control our laughter long enough to come up with any sort of coherent response! It usually goes something more like this : "Mommy *choked giggle* Said *slightly louder and less choked giggle* No! BWWWWAAAHHHHHHHhahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha!!!!

And the vicious cycle begins again. Now her fragile little heart is SO SAD that you have laughed at her. . . . its her own personal circle of life. 

Another emotion she is really into these days is ANGER. She has a book that goes through the letters of the alphabet, and assigns each letter a feeling/emotion that corresponds with that letter. Well of course, the first letter is "A" for angry, which in her opinion, that is the way EVERY book should start, no matter what its about. . . . letter "A" is for angry. . . .Once upon a time, in a castle far far away. . . . 

Every time I read it, she tells me "ANNNGGRRRRYYYYY is my FAVORITE!" Should I be nervous??

Next on the list of funny things she says is Band-aid. Normally, this word isn't really all that funny. But used completely incorrectly, by a drama filled 3 year old, it can be really really funny.  Bella thinks the word Band-aid is what you call the actual boo-boo, NOT the protective bandage you put over a scrape. Now, before you read her next quote, go look in the mirror and practice your BEST Scarlett impression. You're gonna need it. "Oh Mama LOOK! That little girl fell down and got a BAND-AID!!"  HA!

If you really want to freak her out, just pop up and ask her if she wants a band-aid on her leg. Mean, but pretty funny.

And last on her list of soon to be famous quotes is, "Call me if you need me!" No, my 3 year old does not have a cell phone (I'm sooo behind the times ;); it is just her new thing to say anytime she is leaving our presence. Going to a friend's, "Bye Mommy, I love you. Call me if you need me!" Going to bed, "Good night Mommy. See you in the morning. Call me if you need me!" Going potty, "I need to go potty. Call me if you need me!"

A very wise friend once told me, God HAD to make children cute in order to keep them alive on the days they are being ugly. I for one have found this to be true, because on the days that Bella is mastering her ANGRRRY emotion, it only takes 1 "Call me if you need me" to remember how very HAPPY she makes me. 

It's Her Party and I'll Cry If I Want To

As most of you know, the little Princess had a birthday last Friday. This one was a big one and it is hitting me hard. On April 18th, my baby girl turned 3 years old. She has her party in two days, and I am not looking forward to it. Its almost as if the party doesn't happen, she won't grow a year older. This one was right up there with the first birthday in terms of my heartbreak. Most of my friends don't get it. But then again, most of my friends didn't teach 3 year old pre school for 6 years either. 

Three is officially the year that children go from babies to big kids. All traces of infancy are lost. And its true even in my own house where I have fought so hard to keep my little girl from growing up. She's gone from bottles to big cups and pampers to panties. Paci's are extinct and the crib has long since been packed away in the attic. The only remainder of her babyhood are the hundreds of pictures that thankfully cover my walls. Other than my family, they are my most cherished possession. Serving as a reminder of all the little memories that might have faded without them. . . how small she really was, the way she LOVED her bath but HATED drying off, her first smiles, the way she looked toothless and bald, and just how fat her cheeks really were. 

As much as I never want to forget, those things can be hard to remember now when I look at my skinny little girl with her wild curly hair, singing and running wildly around the living room in a desperate attempt to fight off sleep. 

Gone are the days of simply holding her tiny little body snugly against mine for hours. Now there are dogs to chase, tea parties to hold, friends to see, naps to avoid (ugh!), and barbies to buy. 

There are so many little things that I will miss about her infancy-carrying her around in her pouch, the way she put her butt in the air while she was sleeping, her little legs kicking 90 miles an hour in her baby bath , and that tiny baby smell that every mommy cherishes. I will miss it all.

But each day, she reminds me that there are so many new and exciting things to look forward to, to love, and to be thankful for. I love when I come home from anywhere and she screams out, "Mommy you're right back!" and runs arms wide open to hug me. 

I am astonished each day by her intelligence, imagination, and memory (just like her daddy). I love that she greets each day as a new and different princess.

It's amazing when she points to a word and says "Hey Mommy! Thats says ____!" or when she spouts off some little tidbit we didn't know she knew.

As much as I sometimes hate it, I love her determinedness and strength. (not loving it so much right this moment. . . .she is reminding me just how determined and strong she can be by refusing to go to nap unless she can go in her beautiful white Cinderella wedding gown.)

And there is no feeling in the world like the feel of her little arms wrapped so tightly around my neck as she whispers "I love you" into my ear. Or when she tells me I'm her best friend. 

I guess thats God's little gift to me, allowing me the ability to grieve for the little things I have lost by her growing up, while at the same time marveling at the wonderment that is her future. 

She doesn't really need me to hold her anymore, but she does still need me to hold her hand. And today, that is what I am most thankful for.

I've Created a Monster. . . .

help! I was almost transformed into a monster of the worst kind. . . . . .

As many of you know, growing up I ALWAYS wanted to take gymnastics and learn to tumble. (I still do, so if anybody out there knows of anyone who will teach a 30 yr old out of shape mom to do a back handspring, let me know!) But, that dream was never fulfilled bc someone (ah-hem, my dear daddy-love you though) did not think that cheerleading or gymnastics was a "real" sport. No need to go on a gymnast defending rant here guys, I know it IS indeed a real sport. Anyways, I always wanted to do it, so when I found out I was having a daughter, that of course was one of the first dreams I had about her future-sitting in the stands watching my little girl tumbling and cheering for a pee-wee football team; fast forward to the high school varsity squad. Her in her uniform, tumbling across the field as everyone comments on what a talented little tumbler she is.  It was beautiful . . . .I know, I dream big. But I actually did have another dream. . . basically the same as the first one except instead of cheering in high school, she is competing in the olympics-floor  and uneven bars of course. Told you I had at least some big dreams for her :)

Anyways, you can imagine my excitement a few weeks ago when she was FINALLY old enough to start gymnastics class. Really, it felt like a really awesome birthday and she was my best present. In we walked, me proud as a peacock, chest out and head high as I presented my future olympic gold medalist, fully outfitted in her little black "letatard", hair in pig tails Nadia  Comaneci style, and tripping over her own feet in her excitement to get to "dymnastics cwass." It was GREAT!

This week (her 3rd class) was just as good. She was still super excited and so was I. She was eagerly doing anything and everything coach Cindy asked of her, and I was so proud! All "olympic dreams" kidding aside, I really did hope she loved gymnastics. Its a great sport. It teaches poise and self confidence, and keeps a person in really great shape-good no matter what you want to do in life! Plus, it is something I always wanted to do, and admittedly. I selfishly kinda wanted to live vicariously though her. Mostly though, I just wanted her to have a good time, find something she is good at, and gain a little confidence. And then it happened. . . . .just as I am being able to put my olympic dreams for her aside, and settle on her simply having fun, one of the other parents says to me," WOW!! You're daughter is REALLY taking to this stuff! You can see even now that she will be great at it if she keeps it up!" At that moment I could feel myself morphing. I went from, "gee, I just want her to have a good time. Make some new friends. Maybe do this as a hobby" to "Oh My GA! Are you serious?? She could be great? What is the number to legendary gymnastics coach Bella Karolyi? We need to start a training regiment!"

I went from "oh look her her cute, clumsy little front roll!" to "are her toes pointed? did she stick her landing (off the 4in high balance beam)?" I became a crazy fanatical mom!

And as my beaming little Dorothy Hamill came skipping over to me after class, she reminded me just what a reality my dreams were. . . as she tripped over a mat and fell flat on her face. 

Talk about a reality check!

The thought of it now makes me smile. I don't care if my baby grows up to be a world famous gymnast, or even if she doesn't want to cheer (pleeeeease please ppleeeease want to cheer). I just want her to be her, in all of her perfect, imperfect cuteness. I just want her to be happy, and I want to at least give her the opportunity to try and succeed at the things she dreams of doing. No matter what they are.

but don't you think cheerleading looks like a lot of fun??. . . . . or maybe the uneven bars?

She's in Love With a Boy

It's happened. She's in love. And he's an older man. A much older man. 17yrs older to be exact. She discovered his charm this weekend, and that was the beginning of a new love affair. She followed him around like a puppy, much to her aunt Mary's dismay. "Mr. J can you hold me?" she'd ask while batting her innocent blue eyes up at him. Of course he can! Who can turn that down? 

She soaked in his every move. He captivated her with manly things like tying his shoes and kicking a soccer ball. He was entrancing.

I'm not real sure how to feel about this. Its her first crush. How's a mom supposed to feel. . ?

But. . . . .

I must say that the girls got good taste. He's tall (taller than her anyway), dark, and handsome. He's an athlete.  He's a sweetheart. And, I have always been a supporter of the "older man". I guess it could be worse.

We're ALLLLLL gonna DIE!!!!!

Its official. The government is trying to kill us all. Actually, they don't want us to die. They want us to be really sick and need tons and tons of medicine so that they can rape us on the cost! Its proven in their lack of quality control and safety standards when it comes to our food and our beauty products. 

In my quest to go greener, I came across an article about plastics and how deadly they are. How they are sitting seemingly harmless there in the fridge, but all the while they are leaking deadly toxins into our food and drink! Oh and don't even think about putting anything plastic in the microwave! You'll be dead before dinner!

Then there is this list, a list, of the different types of plastics that are considered safe and the ones that are going to kill you. Its determined by the number that is on the bottom of the plastic object/container. Of course, after reading this article, I immediately had to scour my house to see how good of a job I was doing at slowly poisoning my family through plastics. Apparently, I am an awesome plastic hit-man!! Everything in my house seemed to have the bad number on it! So after ridding all of my cabinets of millions of dollars worth of valuable tupperware, I headed to the fridge. And there it was again! I am telling you, it is a freaking miracle that my children are still alive today!! Just about all of our little "snack- pack" items were in the dreaded #7 plastics. For those of you not familiar with the dangers of plastics, do a little research on good ol' plastic #7, that stuff will kill you! I'm amazed that its legal to put ANYTHING in plastic #7, much less anything that is to be ingested. Its madness! The "greatest" thing I learned was that Mott's applesauce, you know, the kind you put in your kids lunch box everyday of their life, the kind that claims to be so wholesome and good for you, comes in a plastic #7 container!!! No kidding. (Del Monte fruit cups do too, just FYI) Also, many of my new improved organic foods are in #7 too!! Are you kidding me!!??? You are charging me $5 a tub for organic sour cream because the non organic kind is full of poisons since the cows that made the milk that made the sour cream ate grass that had pesticides on it!!! Thats fine. Great! But then you put it in a plastic container that has been proven to leak toxins into the product!!! Does that seem a bit twisted or is it just me???

So now, along with my list of safe shampoos and soaps (don't want death by Sulfates), unsafe food additives (everything under under the sun is linked to glutens, froctuse, MSG, etc, etc), chlorine free detergents, and toxin free cleaners, I NOW have to carry a list of safe plastics to the grocery with me! Christ, I practically need a folder just to keep up with whats ok to buy! Is NOTHING safe anymore???? I'm going to have to become a mennonite or something! Grow all my own organic food and cotton to make my own clothes. Raise my own hormone free, organic livestock, and build my house out of bamboo!! I think thats going to be the only way to keep us from getting 50 different types of cancer and ADHD, and Alzheimer's, and Parkinson's, and. . . . . . I can't remember what else. But I can assure you, its bad!  

Now for what the Little Princess has been up to:

I can tell you what she HASN'T been up to: SLEEPING!!

Last night it took 2.5 hrs to get the monster to sleep. I am really not sure what is going on. She was sleeping so SO great, and then it stopped. Then great again for a couple of weeks, and now we are back to no sleeping. She is up BY 7:30 every morning which is HORRIBLE!! It makes her in such a foul mood. Its horrible. I have been racking my brain trying to figure out what it is I have done to upset Karma so much as to deserve this.

On a positive note, she went to her first Gymnastics and Ballet classes last week. It was quite possibly the cutest thing ever! In the gymnastics class they were actually learning real skills, which I was impressed with. (I have seen so many gymnastics classes that were such a rip off at this age! This was not one of them). Every piece of equipment was authentic, but it was MINIATURE!!!!! CUUUTTTEE!!!!!! She walked across the balance beam with her little arms out-stretched for balance. And they even had a bar for her to flip over!!! It was only about 3 feet off the ground and OMGAAA it was freaking adorable!! I took what pictures I could but gym lights are not really conducive to pictures.

After gymnastics class came Ballet lessons. She was in HEAVEN!!! I really conned her into gymnastics only by promising Ballet class afterwards. So when it was finally time, she was beside herself with excitement. Mommies were not allowed inside Ballet lessons; we had to watch on a tv monitor outside of the classroom. It was killing me not to be able to take pictures! 5 little girls in pink tutus and ballet slippers dancing and twirling is a photo op if I've ever seen one!!! Bella is the youngest  in the class by at least a year, and also the smallest by at least half a foot. Which only makes watching her a billion times cuter! She was my tiny dancer in a class of big girl ballerinas, doing her best to mimic their plies. Watching her, I had one of those "OMG I have the cutest kid in the entire world" mommy moments that we all have. It was all I had not to stand up and say "wow, don't you guys wish YOUR little girls were as cute as MINE???!" HA!!! Don't scoff-you know you've had that moment too!

When it was over, she was instantly asking to go again. I knew she would. She lives to be a ballerina. . .well a ballerina Princess to be exactly correct, so this was a dream come true for her. 

What I want to be

ok well since I haven't blogged in so long, there is quite a bit to catch everyone up on. . . .

where to start, where to start. . . . 

I guess I will start with me.

Most importantly I guess, my photography "career" seems to slowly but surely be taking off thanks to a good friend who has been serving as my unofficial booking agent. I shot her daughter's birthday party which was a lot of fun, and then I did a book signing for a local newspaper. That was pretty nerve wracking I must admit!

I also have a couple of bookings for later this spring. I so excited that this is all happening, but it is really scary!! Most of the pictures I've taken have just been here at home, playing around with the camera-no pressure! So to have an actual event that I HAVE to get great pics of is crazy stressful!!! But so far I have gotten really good feedback, so I am pretty proud of myself! Its made me really think about the kind of photographer I want to be. You know in the movies when it shows the cute couple all in love and they have that montage scene of all their great pictures together, laughing and playing, and going about their day, like they have their own personal photographer following them to document their daily life ?? Well thats what I want to be. I want to take pictures of people's everyday moments. Feeding their baby, washing the dog, playing at the park. I don't want fancy outfits and poses in my pictures. I want people to be able to look back through the photographs I've taken and remember THAT moment, the way things were then. For instance, this morning Bella was helping me make my bed, and I thought it would be so great if someone were here to capture that moment. It was adorable watching her try to pull up those big heavy covers! She was so cute with her little self barely tall enough to reach them, but trying to be such a big helper for mommy. Those are the moments I want to capture for everyone else. The ones that you look back on and smile at the memory. Like a secret photographer catching those moments that may seem insignificant now, but will be the most cherished later on.

AHHHHH!!!!!

Stupid technology! I have been locked out of blog for some unknown reason for the past 3 weeks!!! Then today, somehow, I magically unlocked the secret code to get back in!

Whoohoo!! So to all my faithful readers. . . .I look forward to your comments again!

She wore an itsy bitsy, teeny weeny. . .

Over the weekend, Rob and I took mini-me to the mall for a little family time. We rode the carousel and really just enjoyed spending time together. After the carousel we decided to take a leisurely stroll through the mall. Alarm bells were going off in my head. There is no such thing as a simple leisurely stroll through the mall for me. The mall is my mission. The mission is to find the cutest things at the best possible prices. Gymboree is my arch enemy. Well, truth be told, I love Gymboree. Problem is, Gymboree hates me  and my thriftiness. Gymboree sees me coming and smiles a little evil smile deep inside. 

It knows. 

I have no power inside those walls. The cuteness overcomes me. 

Gymboree is a money sucking vampire and I am its willing victim.

 It happens the same way every time. I am at the mall. I feel its magnetic pull. I try my best to fight it, but its just too strong. So I compromise. I'll just go in and look, I tell myself. If there is a really great deal (which there never is), then maybe I will get something. And every time, I walk out defeated. Bags full, giddy with excitement. But underneath the excitement is the dread. For now I must call my husband and shamefully tell him what I have done. How in 15 minutes flat I have managed to ruin our monthly budget. But do I let that stop me? Never.

This time was no different.

I walked in with innocent intentions. Just browsing. But this time I had an accomplice. An almost 3 year old, clothes loving hellcat. And from the moment we walked in, she had her little blue eyes on her prize. A red polka dot bikini.

I tried to stick to my guns, but it was useless. "Its ok, we can pay for it mommy," she said, using all the cute little "get what you want from Daddy" tricks I had so proudly taught her. She was turning on me! Batting your eyes and using your sweet voice is only for use on Daddy!! He's weak! Not me! It isn't supposed to work on me!! But it did.

Shirts, socks, hair bows, and a red polka dot bikini later we left. But only I was feeling the dread. My little con artist was skipping happily along. Red polka dot bikini proudly in her hands. 

The Not So Good Will

Today, I decide to try and do the whole bargain mommy thing, so I loaded up the kiddos and set out for the friendly neighborhood Good Will store. By neighborhood, I mean the closest one to my neighborhood, 30 minutes away. 

I have friends that shop there religiously and their kids' clothes are always adorable, so I thought maybe I should give it a try. 

Never again.

Before I start my rant about why I will not ever Good Will shop again, let me first say this:

I am not a brand name snob. I do not care where clothes from or how much they cost as long as they are cute and of decent quality. 

I do not get pleasure from paying as much as I can for any article of clothing. I take pride in finding bargains.

I am not a snob. Mostly.

My experience today was like a reject clothing nightmare.

I walk in, and was at first overwhelmed by the sheer volume of clothing. Next I was almost overcome with panic as I noticed that not only were there a million items of clothing to pa ruse through, none of them were in any particular order. Now, for those of you close to me, you know that disarray makes me ill. In my life everything must have its own place. My home may not be spotless, but it is organized. Chop. Chop. Chop. Thats how I like it. Thats how it must be or I have little panic attacks. I'm verging on OCD.

Good Will was a mistake.

I am walking around like a foreigner in a daze, attempting to find the toddler section. I ask the first employee I see for directions, and she kindly directs me "over there." Let's clarify. Over there consists of about 47 racks of clothing containing anything and everything from infant to pre-teen clothes for boys and girls. ARE YOU KIDDING ME!!!??? This place was in serious need of my organizational talents. 

I began my walk "over there" and after about 3 or 4 passes down the isles, was done. My brain could not handle it. 

Not to mention the fact that everything I looked at looked like it had been dug out of some moth-ball laden box in an attic from 1982. I have never seen so many shoulder pads or balloon suits in my life!! EWWWW!

AND not to mention that the place was filthy. The floors, the racks, really everything but the clothes. But shopping amongst all that filth really made me feel like the clothes were filthy too. I couldn't help it! I tried to get past it; I told myself it was fine, anything I bought would be washed anyways once we got home. But I couldn't do it. Any shopping experience that makes me yearn for a shower afterwards is just not for me. I guess I will just stick to the sale racks at the regular stores from now on, and be forced to revel in all of my friends amazing Good Will finds. Oh well.

Just venting

about a month ago my notoriously early rising princess began sleeping in to the wondrous hour of 9 (actually it was usually more like 930). I have no idea why, but I generally try not to question God's little miracles. This was such a beautiful gift for so many reasons. I got to enjoy a bit of quiet time in the morning before she woke up. I got to get a few things done. I could even sleep in if I wanted to, and oh did I want to! Waking up at 9 is a miraculous feat for me (just ask Rob). My whole life, I have been cursed with a sleep cycle that insists upon waking by 7:30am, regardless of the goings on the night before. So for God to bless me with the gift of Bella sleeping in, PLUS I'm sleeping in as well. . . it's nothing short of miraculous.

Ah, but alas, all good things must come to an end. A very unfortunate end. And it has. My beautiful, blissful late mornings have come to a screeching halt.

Beginning this past Monday, the Princess has returned to her prior early rising status. 

WHY???? WHY HAVE THOU FORSAKEN ME???!!!!!

What have I done?? What can I do to make it right again? Give me a sign and it shall be done!

Pray more? What do the muslims do? I'll top that!  Eat worms? Delicious!  Feed the hungry? Call me Betty Crocker. . . do they like worms?

Show me what I need to do to return to good graces and I will do it.

I will be waiting God. . . waiting  here in my comfy bed with my light blocking eye mask for a sign. . . .Could you let my sign be a silent baby monitor tomorrow morning until about 9:30ish please?? I'm really exhausted.

Robby D. Must Die.

Ok so I post about doing our best to be healthy and all that. I then get up from my computer and go to my pantry. Hoping for a wholesome delicious snack. Organic granola or something. Ha! Just kidding. But seriously, I am trying to eat better. I'm scanning the shelves. Hmmm. . . . whole grain crackers? Nah. Crasins and almonds. Not this time. For the love of God, what is that?!?!?! THAT my dear friends, is Tagalongs. A sinfully delicious peanut butter filled slice of heaven. Sent directly to my house for $3 by an adorable girl scout. It is my kryptonite. And Rob brought it here.

Bastard.

I stand there. Willing myself to look away from the box. They aren't really there, you did not see that. But my eyes keep darting back to them, with some sort of strange magnetic force!! I need an intervention!! But I am home alone with two children!!And they offer no help at all! "Yeah Mommy! Let's eat chocolate cookies for breakfast!! It will be fun!" they squeal! Then they begin dancing around me like little deranged Indians (Native Americans for you PC people) chanting, "COOKIES! COOKIES! COOKIES!" 

The force is strong. I can feel my arm reaching out to that wondrous little red box completely against my will! I. MUST. BE. STRONG. 

But alas. It is too late. 

I sit here now, 6 incredible cookies later, grinning like a chocolate covered cheshire cat. Licking the magical stuff off my fingers as I type. 

How can I be so happy, yet feel so guilty all at the same time?

That was so wonderful. And it is all Rob's fault. And now he must die.

Peace Out Man. And Be Sure to Wear Flowers in Your Hair.

Ok so about a month ago, something really strange happened. I suddenly became aware, and every concerned, about the ingredients in my children's shampoo.  The stuff could kill you. Really. Do a little research. Well that bled over into concern about MY shampoo, then our body wash, and lotion, toothpaste, hand soap. . . .AHHHH!!! With all these toxins in our products how are we all not already dead!?!?!? So I became a woman on a mission-to rid our home of any unnecessary potential poisons/chemicals. I became a mad scientist, researching ingredients and hunting for the best products to use. It was a frustrating time. I came to realize that even though we live in fairly large city, we are about as far from progressive as one can be. Produce stores laughed at me when I asked if they sold organic foods. Meat markets had no idea what I was talking about. Even the local farmer's market wished me luck in finding organic produce around here! I was stunned! Appalled. And mad. Now let me say that we DO have an organic grocery store within an hours drive of us. But Christ, we'd have to refinance the house just to be able to afford their stuff! Thats the part that makes me mad-why in the world does it cost SOOOO much more to keep your family healthy??!

Eventually though, I nailed down a plan of action and got going. I replaced all of our bath products, cleaning products, and even our dog's food with things made only from organic, wholesome ingredients. Literally EVERYTHING. I  began buying organic only dairy products, fruits, veggies, and meats. It was like an out of control hippie tornado was sweeping through our home! Madness. But we are not stopping there, we are also beginning to recycle! But, the icing on my little beatnik cake, is that this year, we are going to grow our own organic garden! (thanks Dad).

 What?!?!?

 YES!

 We are going to grow our own veggies (and maybe even some fruits), and we are going to do it chemical free!

Good God, what is happening to me! The next thing you know I will be moving my family into a solar powered  house in the mountains made solely from recycled materials and voting for Hillary! AHHHHHH!!! Somebody stop me!!!

(for the record that was a gross overstatement)

BUT WAIT, THERE"S MORE!!

We are also going to begin a small "petting farm" on my dad's land with Nigerian Dwarf goats and a pig, so that the kids can learn about caring for other creatures and have the opportunity to have a wonderfully new, flower-child type of experience.  I'm turning my children into little tree-huggers too! Quick, somebody call DHS!! Rob wants to know when I'm going to buy a loom and begin making our own clothes.

Honestly though, you would think that I am teaching my children some sort of racist propaganda judging by the responses I've gotten from some people! "A little cancer causing chemicals never hurt anybody!" Oh I'm sorry, "a little"?? Well, I actually like my children, so I'm going to go with none-thanks! You'd think people would at least be supportive, even if this wasn't they way to go for their family. After all, I am simply doing my best to keep my kids safe and healthy. I'm doing my best to teach them to love and respect not only their bodies but also the world they live in. And we as a family, are doing our best to try and improve upon the world that ALL of our children will be left in-even those of you who could care less about trees, or chemicals, or water quality.  What is wrong with loving the world that God so graciously created for us!?! I guess its a good thing most people are teaching their children not to value tress, fresh air, or clean water because the way things are going, one day soon, kids won't have any big beautiful trees to play under. And all of their drinking water will come from bottles because tap water won't be safe to drink. Personally, I want my grandkids to know what a real oak tree looks like. Not have to look one up in a book. I want them to have the joy of drinking from the water hose on a hot summer day (all the while, getting soaked while trying their best to make it look like an accident)and not worry about dropping dead on the spot from all the chemicals. I want my grandkids to be able to play in parks and lakes that are clean and safe. I want my children to be able to pick up a piece of produce and not have to worry about scrubbing all the deadly chemicals off before they eat it. I don't want their water to be rationed or their kids to hit puberty at 8 because of all the chemicals added to their foods. 

It seems that more and more people are longing for simpler times, yet few of us are willing to take the extra step to help us all return to those times. Lets go back to the day of right is right, wrong is wrong, and food is safe to eat right off the vine.

All that being said, I have to say I am proud of our family and the steps we are taking. Admittedly, we are not nearly as Earthy as some people, and their are many more things we can do. But for now, we are doing the best we can in this moment, and I am proud of that.

Now I just need to think up our new hippie names . . . . 

His 15 Spectacular Minutes

This Christmas, Granny Karen hit the jackpot when she purchased our Christmas gifts. She managed to snag front row seats to Cirque du Soleil for all of us-her, Mary, and all 4 members of my family. Freaking awesome, I know. So after two months of anticipation, we finally got to go last night. It was fabulous! It started a bit shaky though. Like I said, we had great front row seats. The not so great part though, was that before the show started, there were clowns roaming around "visiting" with the people in the front rows. This was bad for a couple of reasons. 1st: every single member of my family is TERRIFIED of clowns. They are horrendously creepy.  Personally, I think they are all secretly ax-murderers. We hate clowns. Not to mention the fact that these were not just regular creepy, circus type clowns. They were the be-all, end-all creepiest of creepy kind of clowns. Which leads me to reason #2 why front row seats weren't so great. Bella. My little uber shy, little freak-out Queen just about came unglued the second she saw the hideous things. The fact that getting front row seats is a nearly impossible feat to accomplish meant nothing to her. All she cared about was getting the hell away from the clowns! "I want to go up there!!" she screamed, pointing to the nose bleeds. But honey, these are special seats! Only the really special little girls get to sit down here. . . it was a lost cause. Telling her  these things only seemed to upset her even more. She screamed and cried, and looked at us like we must totally hate her to force her to sit this close to the terror. For a minute, I really thought she and I might soon be making the trek up the million stairs that led to the seats she so desperately wanted to be in.

Thank God for Lovey! Of course, good ole' reliable Lovey was right there on the front row with us, enjoying all the action. I finally convinced Bella that if she closed her eyes and put Lovey over her face, no one could see her. It worked. Crisis averted. 

Once the show started and all the "crowd visitors" moved on to the stage, she was fine. She actually really enjoyed the show. The "pink girl" (she wore a pink dress)was her most favorite. She was the singer, providing the soundtrack for the entire show, along with the band. Let me just tell you that she was amazing! Rob and I would pay to go to a show just to hear her sing. WOW!

So, anyways, the show itself was really great. Very unique. Lots of action. If you've never been to a cirque show, you really must go. It's not your typical circus (if you didn't figure that out from the clowns). There are no ponies walking on their back legs or elephants balancing on tiny boxes. Instead, it is more about human performance-feats of balance, strength, agility, and talent. I'm not talking about "stupid human tricks" here, just awe-inspiring acts.

Another thing that is unique to Cirque, is the music and the atmosphere it provokes. Its a very sensual type of experience. Sultry. Hot. The show really centers around the human body and the fascinating things it can do. BUT calm down people, it was still PG rated!

As amazing as all of that was though, it was not the best part. Oh no. Not by a long shot. 

But lets back up a bit. . . . 

On the way to the show, Rob suddenly says, "I just had a terrifying thought! We are on the front row. They always pick people from the front row and make them come onstage!! I will freak out if they make me do that!" Seriously, he was a bit panicked about this. Of course my reply was, "OH I HOPE THEY PICK ME!!!"

Back to the show. . . . 

about 3/4ths of the way through, the mime that provided comic relief between acts started to move towards the crowd. I watched with eager anticipation as he scanned the crowd. The row beside us. . .oh he's so close! Look this way!! I was nearly tempted to start franticly waving my arms around like the idiot kid in elementary who will just DIE if he isn't picked to answer the teacher's question. Then his eyes locked. . .  on ROB!! "He's coming for you!!" I whispered, a bit disappointedly, but I don't think he heard me. He was too bust trying not to throw up as the silly little man approached him, hand extended.

Rob apprehensively shook his hand, and then was pretty much dragged up onto the stage. Bella was screaming in fear for him, but no one could hear her over the roar of the crowd. I finally got her to calm down (Lovey over the face), and Rob's stage debut began. Poor guy, he was so scared up there, he looked like a mouse trapped in a corner by a lion, eyes wide, body tense, ready to bolt at the first hope of escape! 

Basically, the mime would act out scenarios, like sneaking through  a room occupied by an imaginary tiger, and Rob had to copy him. His first attempt was a half-hearted bomb, but the mime quickly let him know that mediocre attempts at mimicry would not be acceptable. After that 1st attempt though, Rob's face changed. He relaxed and accepted his fate as a victim of the mime, and threw himself whole-heartedly into each new skit. It was HILARIOUS!!! He was so completely awesome!! In fact, he was the funniest part of the show! Each time the mime would give him the series of things he was to mimic, he'd do it, but added his own funny tweaks. The crowd went crazy over him! I have to say, I was really proud! 

Everybody that knows him, knows Rob is a funny guy, but this was off the charts! Watching him tip-toe around the stage like a crazed explorer on safari had us in stitches! The "gun fight" was gut-busting! He was so entertaining that he was onstage for almost 10 minutes! That mime should really look out, after the crowds response to Rob, his job just might be in jeopardy! 

After the show, we all realized what a big hit he had really been. People were coming from everywhere to tell Rob what a great job he had done and how hysterical he was! "Hey there's the guy!!" people were yelling to each other as they rushed over to shake the new celebrity's hand. Some people thought it must have been set up because he was so relaxed on stage. HA! There was a big group applause in the lobby.There was even a mad rush of people to get on the same elevator with him. It was insanity! Like the local Will Ferrel or something. I was half expecting a police escort home!

He was so proud of himself! He was beaming the rest of the evening. It was adorable!

So now my baby has gotten a little taste of fame. And he liked it. Boy did he like it. Wonder how long till we move to LA and get jobs waiting tables like all the other starving actors?

Cute things the little Princess is saying. . . .

1. She does voices. This is my current FAVORITE thing she is doing right now. When she plays with her dolls, she does different voices for them. The best one is the male voice. It is HILARIOUS!! She tries the make it so deep and makes the funniest face while trying to do it. It cracks up all up!

2. Great ______ Mommy/Daddy! She says this every time Daddy or I do pretty much anything. If we say "please" she says GREAT MANNERS MOMMY! If Rob (or I) burp, GREAT BURPING DADDY! If I'm singing along to the radio, GREAT SINGING MOMMY!

3. IT'S SO PERFECT FOR ME!!-she says this anytime she gets something especially for her. Her toddler bed, a new dress up outfit, shoes, etc.

4. IT'S SO DORABLE!-(adorable)She says this practically the entire time we are in Target or the mall, especially now, since everything is pink for Valentine's Day. People really seem to get a kick out of this one..

5. IT'S SO WONDERFUL! she says this whenever something makes her happy.

6. HAPPY YOU NEAR!-(Happy New Year)she still says this every morning when I wake her up.

From Little Boy to Little Man

It seems like yesterday that I met him. He walked into the classroom, and I was instantly in love. Shy and quiet, not so tall, but dark, and stunningly handsome. . . He was two years old.
I remember the day that my future son walked into my classroom. I was a pre-school teacher and he had just graduated into my class. He was my favorite from the start. The other kids didn't even have a chance.
Who knew that that chubby cheeked little boy would bring such monumental change to my life.
Fast Forward a year.
I get the honor of becoming his "other" mom. I remember so clearly those round little cheeks and dark brown eyes looking at me as I walked down the isle towards his Daddy. A smile so big on his face that it makes me smile now to think about it.
Through the years, he has grown and changed so much, and so has our family. We've bought new homes and cars, gotten new pets, gone on adventures, and even added a beautiful little girl to our clan. And at the heart of it all, I know I owe it all to Zach.
When people ask me if I feel differently for him than I do for Bella, since technically she is my first child, I always answer honestly. The answer is yes, I do. But don't we all love our kids in different ways, ways that are uniquely their own? Don't we all have special and unique relationships with each of our individual children? Different isn't bad! If I had another child, I would love it differently that I do Zach and Bella.
I love Zach for the child that he is, kind and wonderful. I love Zach for giving me the wonderfully exceptional life and family that I have today. Without him, my life would not be what it is. I would have never met Rob or had Bella. We have always told Zach that it is because of how wonderful he is, that we are what we are. I love him because he is my first child, my first, and likely only, son. I love him for his silliness. I love him for his joy. I love him for his willingness to try anything-from sushi to soccer. I love him simply because he is him.
And now my little boy has grown into a little man. He's 10! While I certainly miss that baby face, I am so proud of the young man he has become. He is kind and well mannered. Always polite. He would never make fun of another, his heart is too big. He's not afraid to have friends that are girls. Some of his best friends are. He wears pink; he believes in being his own person no matter what. But I think the thing I am most proud of is the kind of big brother he is. The love he shows his sister amazes me every single day. He will play Barbie, or tea party, or dress up, or school. He will help her get dressed or go potty. He teaches her her letters. He is amazing. No matter how mean she is to him, and as a 2 year old girl she can be MEAN, he is always patient. He takes his job as a big brother very seriously. He knows that more than anyone else in the world, she looks to him as her example, and he has been the best so far.  Watching him with his little sister, I know that he is going to be a wonderful daddy. And that makes me the proudest mommy alive.

So my little boy is growing up. Yes, it makes me sad. But seeing the young man he is becoming makes me proud to be his mom.

Little Rays of Light

Occasionally, our children provide us with those little "ray of light" moments that really remind us as humans why we do not eat our young. This week has been full of those moments for me.
A couple of days ago, Bella and I were playing, when out of the blue she says, "I love you so much." "Mommy loves you too baby," I replied. Then the part that made my heart smile, "I love you three Mommy." "I Love you three?!!" How stinking cute was that!!
Well if that wasn't enough to keep me smiling, she pulls another one out of her magic hat of adorable things.
I am tucking her in for nap yesterday, bending over her tiny little toddler bed to kiss her good-night, when she reaches up, gently takes my face in her small hands, looks me straight in the eyes, and says, "I love your pretty face Mommy." AWWWW! "I love your pretty face," I tell her. "You're my very best friend in the whole world Mommy," she says and then turns over and closes her eyes. My eyes instantly well up with tears. That has been the very last thing I've said to her at nap and bedtime for her entire life. Now she says it to me.
As I'm walking out of her room, eyes streaming and heart consumed, I sneak one last look at my little angel curled up in her bed. Please God, please let her still feel that way when she is 15. And for the first time ever, I heard God answer me. It was so soft, I barely heard it, but it was an answer just the same. . . . "HA. Even I have my limits."